A Message To My Psychologist

The date was July 25
The mode of communication was this social network I like to call "The Facebook"
The feeling at the moment of communication was just a tad stressed. Just a teeny drop
The receiver was Miss. Rena T. Levin (my self appointed free psychologist)

Rena, a kind hearted human being to all walks of life. 

1) my Bar Ilan payment is due today... Called them last week to pay (the number they gave me at 5am my time) went to voicemail, voicemail box was full. Email the person back and she says you can pay with a check but obvs fails to mention is has to be in shekels not dollars which I happened to have found out by chance. Payment due today. Haven't paid. I can't pay in shekels just dollars and no one is answering their phones. I am releasing the pigeon in a matter of minutes. It will travel 8,000 miles with a credit card in tow.

2) don't have an ulpan... I have an irrational fear of speaking Hebrew which doesn't seem to be getting any better and now I have a fear of speaking and unknowingness of the language of the Hebrew man. I am changing the song to "speak the language of the ENGLISHman."

(Side point- I didn't end up going to ulpan. Still have a fear of Hebrew. Yes, I will be starting Bar Ilan in 13 days. No biggie)

3) don't have a Givat Shmuel apt which I am trying to put a brave face on and say "oh it's chill Nikki is crafty, she'll decorate our box. But I don't want to live in a Fed Ex box. That's one way to make friends- "come spend Friday night dinner in my humble box abode"

(Side point- Nikki is one of the friends I made aliyah with and am living with.)
(Side point number 2- An apartment was found and signed and sealed on Friday!)

4) speaking of inviting people over I won't have friends so I'll just have to play Bananagrams alone. One is the loneliest number you know. The "Find Lottie Friends Foundation" (FLFF) is open for business big time. Know of any generous donators?

(Side point- FLFF is still very much open)

5) I have absolutely no idea when I'm meant to be signing up for classes and it's boycott Lottie year so no one answers anything I ask anymore. Phone, email, text, Facebook, letters- the "I couldn't get in touch with you" excuse no longer applies in the 21st century. I think the only solution is to super glue my feet so someone's office floor so they are forced to answer because I ain't going anywhere Ms. I Suck At My Job.

(Side point- I did manage to sign up for my classes. Don't ask me what any of them mean. If only I knew...)

Do you know of any verrrry heavy sleeping pills that just knock you out for a good two months? Legal or not I am so down.

(Side point- still looking for that heavy sleeping pill. I'm thinking of one that will last until Chanukah time)

So long farewell afidesen (kiss kiss) goodbye)
Or shalom as us Israelites call it