Well I wasn't going to go around and make up stories. Please, I'm not that desperate.
Things have just been pretty routine for once in my life over the past month. Nothing too exciting. Oh well besides from this little thing called my birthday.
Yes, now that I am twenty one I will only be spelling words correctly and using proper punctuation. Ha, yeah right. Remember, I never learned grammar. There was a reason I was always "sick" on Friday aka grammar day.
Well, for once in the past month I have something to share.
This is pretty exciting. I know.
This Shabbat I was going to Modi'in to my grandparents house. Over the past two and a half years that I have been in Israel I must have gone to them over a thousand times. Even though there are not a thousand days over the course of two and a half years I still managed to defy the course of nature.
Every time I went I managed to go like a normal person. You know, take the bus from either Jerusalem or Givat Shmuel, get off at the right stop and get on with my life.
You know how people say new months make a new you? Well at least I do. So February created the Lottie who is incapable of doing the most simple of actions.
I got on the bus in Givat Shmuel and had to get off at Tzomet Shilat. For all of you people who don't know Israel geography (which I can't even understand why) it is the junction outside of Modi'in. Next on the to- do list was to take a cab to my grandparents house. Give a five year old directions like these and I think they could do it. But in my life gd forbid should there ever be a dull moment.
I saw we were approaching the junction (P.S.- notice how I say junction and not tzomet. Want to know why? Read my January 1 post.) and pressed the stop button.
Now, I learned from a young age never stand up in a moving vehicle until it has reached a full stop. So, for the sake of respected and elders and this thing called MY LIFE I stayed seated until I figured the bus would reach a full stop at the bus stop.
Well sucks for me because the bus went straight past my stop. Trying to play benefit of the doubt and giving myself every excuse not to get my non existent Israeli on and yell "nahag NAHAG" (because I do have dignity.) I just figured that the bus stop moved and in about 13 seconds he will stop and I will get up.
Well he didn't. No he didn't stop for the newly twenty one year old who was just taking care of her life.
But that's ok. Everyone says how small Israel is so I thought how far can the next stop be anyone?
To answer that question I'll just have to say about a half hour walk. A half hour walk along a highway with no sidewalk. A half hour walk in the pouring rain.
I got off the bus at the next stop. Again, a half hour later.
Oh by the way I got off the bus at the next stop because someone risked her life and stood up before the bus came to a full stop. Just by the way.
All I knew was that I was in Frummy McFrum Ville. I was wearing colored tights and felt rather out of place. All I knew was I had to leave before I would be thrown out. It turns out I was in Modi'in Illit.
1) never knew that place existed.
2) learn something new everyday.
I was standing by the entrance of the place for a while waiting for a cab. Oh and did I mention it was pouring rain. Finally after hours, I'm sure a generation was born and a generation had died during the duration I was waiting, a cab came.
I told him my grandparents address but he went on this whole ramble how he's not allowed to drive far. I wasn't going to ask.
We compromised and he drove me to Tzomet Shilat. I was trying to think of my way out if the police caught him and got him in trouble because he was driving further then he was allowed to.
Made it to the junction and I thought it would be a no brainer to get my second cab to my grandparents.
Obviously it wasn't.
If I ever become a taxi driver I would be 100% out and about when it's raining outside. You know how you have all those wannabe macho people that are like, "the weather is nice so I will walk those 13 miles and no I will not take a cab. The cab can follow me from start to finish but I am invincible and will not give in." I think we can all relate to this little voice within us. Well when it's torrentially raining outside even the Jamaican runner will be thinking "GET ME IN A TAXI PRONTO." Considering I will be running in the Jerusalem Marathon (for the lone soldiers... message me about donating) just call me a Jamaican runner.
While walking up and down the junction jumping up and down to stop cabs, my umbrella flew away. And no I did not go flying with it like Mary Poppins, instead it pocked me really hard. I think I may have a new story for the scar game actually.
Finally after standing in the rain for almost an hour I decided I will walk into the nearby gas station and ask if they have a number for a taxi company. All I wanted was a cab number, not 7 new friends.
I walk into the gas station, they ordered me a cab, made me coffee, offered me bamba. They really must have been very bored. It came up in conversation that I made aliyah over the summer and one of them told me to sit on a chair so he can lift me up. I insisted it's really really ok. The Ethiopian was telling me his girlfriend is still in Ethiopia and doesn't want to move to Israel so maybe I should talk to her. There may be a slight language barrier there.
Finally the cab they ordered came. Or should I say the limo they ordered me came. The person that ordered the cab told me she liked me so she got me a big cab. I wanted to ask her if she was willing to pay the extra money that a limo costs...
They gave me some extra Bamba for my travels and I was en route (umbrella-less, bamba-full, wet and cold) to Grandma and Grandpa's house begging no one would see me in this monster of a cab.
