Date: Give or take 5 weeks ago.
Weather: Hot. This is a must know.
Receiver of the Facebook message: a friend... hey Rena.
So Adina and Nissana were here for Shab Shab and it was their job was to get the drinks.
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| Proof that in fact A & N were here. |
JOKES.
I would never do such a thing. As I was leaving they told me we need more eggs for the kugel.
So I was on my jolly way.
Drinks and eggs.
Drinks and eggs.
Drinks and eggs.
The sun was shining (and not sparingly, if I may add), the birds were chirping, Friday mid-day in the holiest place. What an excellent life!
And then I walked into the supermarket.
It was psycho-ville, but all I had to get was drinks and eggs.
I found the perfect pack of eggies after pushing some person over since she was hogging the floor I needed to step on. And I got some drinks- coke, peach spring, and Sprite since when I asked what drinks to get SPRITE was very much emphasised.
Finally after waiting on a 22 minute line with some wacka doodle doo attempting to speak to me and me pulling the "ani eparon" card it was my turn.
I put all the food on the thing (obviously when I say thing you know exactly what I'm talking about. We are just that close) and started bagging it, but saw that the Sprite was no longer there, so I asked the lady (who by the way this was the third time in a week I had her. I thought we were besties at this point. I saw she had an engagement ring. We were so at the point of our employee consumer relationship that she would invite me to her wedding. Or so I thought) "EIFO HA'SPRITE?! As if some awful robbery had just taken place. For gd sakes I wasn't using my credit card and if they asked for Sprite, I will bring them their Sprite.
They will get that Sprite.
I will stop at nothing.
She said there was no code on the Sprite so she couldn't ring it up (ok, so maybe I wouldn't be a bridesmaid at this wedding anymore, but I could still potentially be invited).
1) This has seemed to be a current issue in this supermarket.
Solution: Get someone who's job is to "code" things whatever that may mean. Solution two: If you have a guy with the title The Coder, FIRE HIM
2) Code or no code, I searched high and low in your supermarket for these items. I endured waiting on a line. I want what I came for. And as I learned from Spongebob, the costumer is always right. So, if I say there is a code, whether there is one or isn't just give it to me.
Clearly these two ideas were not an option because she wasn't budging so I asked her if I could go to the drinks shelf, grab a new Sprite and she could ring that one up instead. I told her it would take two seconds, and if she doesn't believe me she could count.
And there went the wedding invitation.
She clearly was not into counting or watching people run, because ohhhh she got feisty.
"It won't take you two seconds. You can't run that fast. Now sign the receipt."
I truly have no idea what came across me at that moment. It's not like that supermarket was the only place in the entire Katamon, no in the entire Israel, no in the entire world, that sold Sprite. It's not like there was one Sprite left on the planet and I needed it. I have no idea why I couldn't leave with some dignity and just go into a makolet next door and get the stupid Sprite.
I told her that my friend is sick and all she wants is a Sprite.
She slammed the receipt on the counter, I got scared, and scribbled some sort of signature.
So much for playing the tough Israel.
Then I was passing a makolet and I saw they had Sprite (because in case you didn't know there are 5,000 Sprites produced every 2 minutes. Snapple Fact of the day. True or False?) so I put it on the counter and gave the guy the credit card to which he said "we don't take credit cards for under 20 shek."
Me: "I don't have cash and my friend desperately needs Sprite. That's all she has ever asked for."
Thank Hashem he saw how traumatic this entire experience had become and he let me pay for it with a credit card.
I finally got back to my apartment (drinks in the bubby cart... yes, laugh at me all you want. I am beyond embarrassed. But I WAS NOT THE ONE THAT BOUGHT IT. AGAIN, NOT MY IDEA, DID NOT BUY.* And eggs in my hand since I was too scared to wheel them. My hand was in the shape of the egg crate since I was holding them so tight.) and told everyone my Sprite adventures...
"but never fear guys, I am a hero once again and (wait for me to dramatically whip out the Sprite...) I GOT YOU SPRITE!"
The answer I get: "oh I didn't mean get Sprite specifically. I just said it to mean get any soda."
Ok. I can take that. No biggie that I ruined my reputation and got un-invited to a wedding.
"Fine. So I got the best eggies"
Answer I get to that- "oh I guess you didn't get our texts, we're not making kugel anymore."
Fun fact- there is no service in the supermarket in Katamon.
* Bubby cart update- the BC probably heard all the insults I made about it and decided enough is enough and broke on me one day when I had a ton of food in it. May it rest in peace. And may I never see or use anything like it again (well until someone buys it and then I remember how useful it is. I am squirming just writing that.
We have hands for a reason.
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