It's not very often I show off about things.
One, because it's awkward and frankly no one usually cares.
Two, because I never had much to show off about.
Here are my three claims to fame in life:
1) My brother is Zushye Kestenbaum
2) In my elementary school there is a week called TV Awareness Week where you don't watch TV for a week and if you succeed you get a ticket for a raffle to win the grand prize... a bike. Gasp.
Well I didn't really buy the whole no TV business. Please, thirteen year old me needed her Sabrina The Teenage Witch reruns. But my Chumash teacher said whoever didn't watch TV for the week will get ten points on the next test and being that I had to get into high school because it is soooo hard to get into the exclusive Maayanot Yeshiva High School for Girls, I partook in TV Awareness week.
Naturally since I didn't watch TV I got a ticket in the raffle by default.
And guess who one the bike out of 800 kids who were also in the raffle.
Yup, little old me. The one who didn't and still doesn't know how to ride a bike.
I got my picture in the school newsletter and all that legit stuff.
The bike is currently sitting in my garage. Used once- for my dad to attempt for the hundredth time to teach me how to ride it.
3) Yup, I was the person who saw that woman get her head stuck in the train door a few months ago. I'm basically a household name because of it. Ha lies.
Check it out- http://newestsabraontheblock.blogspot.co.il/2012/12/a-heading-home-adventure.html
See, really nothing to show off about.
Well then I get this email from some guy inviting me to attend the 5th Israeli Presidential Conference as a Times of Israel (Newest Sabra's cousin) blogger.
One of my friends who clearly cares oh so much about me told me that this guy is probably a rapist.
As she whatsapped that to me I was just seeing Hollywood.
Especially after taking a sneak peek at the guest list.
"Um hello the Prince of Monaco." "Bill Clinton, my dad loves you so I think we can be on first name basis" "Barbra Streisand, I don't know any songs you sing but I loved you in Meet The Fockers"
Step aside my current peasant friends.
I see it now. Me and my autograph book (going to explore Pinterest tonight for some solid ideas). And get ready Instagram for June 19-20 (sadly I am not invited to Peres's rocking 90th birthday party on the 18th) because I will bombard you.
Some people are excited to go to hear about how to make Israel a better tomorrow, others are going to be doing their whole networking shtick.
I will stand there starstruck while plotting how to get some of the Prince of Monaco's attention. Single lady right here.
Isn't it blatantly obvious from this little rant that this is a big mistake. They meant to email some blogger with a similar name to mine. Or Obama's email got confused with mine.
Times of Israel, this mistake may cost you.. at least I'll have fun!
Now back to watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
1. It's not clear - are you assuming it was a mistake or do you know it's a mistake?
ReplyDelete2. I can't believe you didn't learn to ride a bike.
3. The Prince of Monaco is married.
4. About 30+ years ago Chabad in London asked Bnei Akiva if some of their madrichim could help out at their Lag B'Omer picnic. I volunteered and the day was memorable for two things. I had my first ever peanut butter and jam sandwich (many of the wives are American)and dafka I liked it (who knew? it had sounded a weird combo before). Second thing - the bike in the raffle was won by Jane Goldberg aged 13. Out of about 1000 kids she was the only one I knew because I was friends with some of her older brothers). - True story. So obviously winning bikes in raffles is a family tradition.