The Fateful Internet Diet

THIS WAS WRITTEN LIVE TWO WEEKS AGO. THE WEEK OF THE FATEFUL INTERNET DIET. 
My thoughts and feelings may have changed since I wrote this. 

On May 5, 2013 my roomies and I undertook a challenge that some deemed as impossible while others thought it was a walk in the park.
We were going to go a week without the Internet. You know 1980's style. The way I like it.
I figured it's about time to get to know real people, not their online pseudo selves.

Note about me: I am one of those people who truly wish they were all "run with the birds, frolic in the fields" but in short, I am no where near that. No where near.

DA RULES (Fairly Odd Parents anyone?)

I think this week is just one of those many proofs to this statement.

Disclaimer: This is a pathetically honest post. Read at your own risk. NO JUDGING ALLOWED!
I promise I am a nice, not shallow member of the human race.

The first hour: We had our goodbye ceremony. I can not tell a lie, it was hard. Perhaps a few tears were shed. Or not. It was defiantly harder then I thought it would be. Good or bad, a good percentage of our lives are online. My social life, my academic life, my work life- all contact, or most is done by the means of Facebook or email. Or texting and whatsapp which were also big no-no's this week.
Oh Facebook. That was a tough goodbye. As a self admitted addict it is hard to go cold turkey (anyone else find that phrase somewhat repulsive?). But a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.
That spot next to me on my bed where my phone rests will be pathetically empty and missed tonight.
I really will miss those radiations.

Sunday Night, May 5: I went through my first 23 hours Internet-less. I thought I would have the easiest time. Well I was wrong. Big time.
I realized that almost everything on this weeks to do list would have to wait for next week. Oh just another week I am pushing things off yet again. It's not like I specialize in that or anything.
I haven't been sleeping well. I know it's just been one night but it was hard.
I have been displayed severe Internet withdrawal symptoms. Headaches and constant sneezing (which I am so sure can only be related to Internet detoxing. For sure not a cold.)
Just like I have a schedule for my day, I also have a schedule for my nights. Every night at about 12:00 am is usually the time I explore Instagram, travel the day through Facebook, watch the latest Ted videos on YouTube. Videos that should be changing my life by now but still haven't.
Me and my phone start our daily date night at 12am.
My phone really knows how to treat a girl well.
How do you say goodbye to such a chivalrous buddy?
The only way I am guaranteed to not be tempted by such beauty and goodness is to not only remove my stunningly dressed J.Crew clad iPhone from it's spot on my bed but to move it to another room all together.
Gasp.

Stay tuned for tomorrow episode of "How Is She Surviving? The Eighth Wonder Of The World."

Tuesday May 7, 2013:  Not only is this week hard, but it is completely destroying my equilibrium system. Before this week I was a happy healthy person. Walking about 200 hundred feet again. Stretching my legs on the couch. And might I say doing a lot of getting up and sitting down from one class to the next. However, this week that has all changed.
I sleep during the day because if I am not in class there is just nothing else to do to pass the time. I eat constantly because that is just what you do when you are bored.
Over the past nine months since I have been living in Israel my meals usually consisted of pasta and some sauce on top with my favorite go to- Parmesan cheese, or the easy and simple fried veggies. Now all of a sudden I am eating courses. Yes, each meal has two well prepared healthy courses. They are really delicious if I may say so myself. I never knew I had this Mario Batali side to me. I also read and read which is good but by the 300th page in two days the information no longer processes anymore.

This Internet diet is slowly killing me. I must have gained about ten pounds. And I no longer sleep at night.
Internet detoxing may sound like a good idea but it's not. In fact it's highly dangerous.
You may think you can do it (like me) and tell your friends to believe in you because you will succsesed. But you won't so get over it now.

I am proud to say I was the first of my roomates to go online. And no, I didn't have to wait the full week. I am a gifted and fast learner and by Wednesday morning I got the point and spent the next day online catching up on very important, academically gifted things of course.