Hello World!

Surprise! I'm alive.
You know how holier then thou bloggers go on a little hiatus? Well according to one person, me, I have reached that status so I took a little vacation which involved NSOTB's (a cookie goes to whoever know what that stands for. This is a tricky one) cousin blog Times of Israel.
It's true- over here, over there, I am truly everywhere (along with Hashem).

Oh, and by the way for today this blog is called The Burnt Peeling Bright Red Tomato On The Rechov.
Burnt peeling red tomato is pretty self explanatory. When you are me and go to the beach without bathing in sunscreen first this is usually what happens.
Rechov is to remind the world that this is an aliyah blog so I guess by law I have to use a Hebrew word somewhere in the name.
It has a good ring to it, no?

Hi World,
Yes I did get burnt. But as you can tell by my face I was wearing fabulous 50's style cat eye sunnies when the deed went down. Don't you love the white and red contrast. It brings out my eyes right?
Don't do drugs and stay in school.
Love, Lottie

Best is how I only got burned on one side of my legs. It looks like color war is going down. Deep red vs ultra pale white. I'll let you know the results later.

Ok, but the real reason I decided it's time to revive this blog from the dead is I have decided at the mere age of 21 and two and a half months that it is finally time to get my drivers license.
Keyword: "get". I used the word "get" as opposed to "convert" because I don't have an American license to convert.
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife. It's true I am about five years behind the driving schedule.
The reason for doing this was not because GD FORBID I was too lazy. It was because I am an environmentalist . Obviously. Tomorrow I go vegan as well and will begin planting my organic farm.
Ha, LIES! Big time. Biggest time.
But really, my legs were made for walking, but after walking all day everyday (you know because mommy and daddy were too busy to pick up their little treasure from her friend's house) they are slowly giving way. I practically hear my left leg saying "we are strong enough. Down with the walking. Down with the walking."

Anyhoo so after hearing really reassuring information about obtaining an Israeli license, such as "it is hell" or "sweetie, you will be on suicide watch while you are in the decade long process" I decided it's go time.

I am strong.
I am invincible.
I am woman.
(yes, that was a Sex And The City 2 shoutout.)

So Ronit and I went to get our eye exams today. And you all thought the picture you were liking on Facebook was some sort of certificate that we passed a road test. Well it wasn't. It was a certificate that we know our numbers and colors. So thank you kindergarten teachers.
I thank all the 34 (and counting?) "likers" for congratulating me on my ability to see. Maybe tomorrow I will get a hearing test and post those results as well. It is quite a confidence booster to have friends who care so much about my health.

Behold! The two 20/20 see-ers (THANK GD FOR GLASSES/CONTACTS!!)

Well to my dismay nothing too exciting happened at the eye exam. No ceilings falling in, bizarre language barriers, odds comments... twas pretty standard.

For once in my life I was a lucky bean! 

BUT I would never end just like that. That's boring. And pointless. And basically a bad first post back.

 So here's a little snippet of what happened to me the other day. 

I was on a bus on my way back from Jerusalem and a woman sat next to me who (choose one of the three options below)

a) just frolicked in a garlic field

b) wear Chanel Number 5 perfume along with garlic powder. Heard it was the new trend.

c) just bought a garlic factory

Unfortunately I didn't have the guts to ask her which of the above options were correct so we shall forever be in wonder... 

So this was a fun first post back eh

I'll keep you POSTED with more to come (pun intended.)